Naughty XXXMas Songs
by Babushka

(SINFUL WONDERLAND)

Gone away...is the skank bud
Here to stay...is the kind bud.
We'll light up a bowl, and pass it around
Walking in a Sinful Wonderland

If you dig...ecstasy-y
Then come hang..out with me-e
We'll roll in the snow, I'll give you a blow
Walking in a Sinful Wonderland

**In the meadow we will meet a dealer
With coke and hash and all your favorite drugs
Then we'll go and drop a hit of speed, dear
And hang around like a bunch of thugs
(second time: And buzz around like a bunch of bugs)

Later on, we'll get higher
As we (coke-sniffing sound) By the fire
And then you'll get laid
You won't have to pay
Walking in a Sinful Wonderland (repeat at **)
(2nd time through, last line 3 times)

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HARK SATANIC SANTA… sings

Sings about the naughty things
Piece of ass, wicked and wild
Come and touch me evil child

Joyful all ye demons rise
Terrorize the Christian skies
**With blasphemous hosts proclaim
Glory to the Devil's reign (repeat at **) (repeat all)

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OH HORNY NIGHT…

Oh, horny night
The bars are brightly shi-ning
It is the night...that we all...get a piece
Long lay we all, alone and masturba-ting
Until we cheered, debauchery would set us free

The thrill of the hunt
The naughty elves we play-y
We sa-tis-fy our urges this fine day-y

Fall...on your knees
And blow...me straight to hea-ven
It's good from behind
Tha-at night we got it on
It's good from behind
Tha-at night
Oh Horn-y night

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PORK BUTTS Roasting…

Pork butts roasting on an open fire
Father punching brother's nose
Lame ol' carols being butchered again
The whole fam-ly comes down to blows

Everybody knows a few whacks
with a hickory stick
Helps to make those bottoms bright
Tiny tots with their butts all aglow
Will find it hard to sleep tonight

They know that San-ta's on his way
He's loaded lots of guns and ammo on his sleigh.

And every devil's child is gonna spy
to see who they can line up right between the eyes

And so I'm offering this cynical phrase
to aunts and uncles I once knew
Although it's been said, many times, many ways
Merry Christmas (3 times), Fuck you!

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OH DRIVE ALL YE DRUNKARDS….

Flying down the freeway
Oh drive ye, Oh drive ye, into my check point.
Show me your li-cense,
breath into this tu-u-ube
Let's see your registration
Is this valid insurance?
We kill your buzz and your holiday fun
The police state is lord.

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Lyrics © L. Swain, 2005